Like Father, Like Son?

Assad Tayeh owned the Amira Imperial Beverage store two doors down from the home in which Anthony Sowell allegedly murdered up to six people in East Cleveland and he says Sowell’s father was a creep in his own right.

“He was a perv,” says Tayeh. “A real creep. I saw him in action. Used to walk around the neighborhood with a plastic dick tucked in his pants. He liked to hit women with it.” Sowell’s father died a couple years ago. Tayeh believes the man knew what his son was doing.

Tayeh, himself, smelled death coming from that area of the street, but figured it was the sausage factory in between their properties. He complained to the owners but they were as confused about the source as he was. “The smell was awful. Customers complained about it in my store.” Sowell, he says, came in often to buy trash bags. It didn’t seem like an odd purchase at the time, but now Tayeh wonders just what went into those bags.

For details about said trash bags and the detectives who later discovered their contents, read “House of 1000 Corpses.”

An Oddmall That Isn’t Rolling Acres

Looking for the perfect holiday present for your little hobgoblin? You gotta check out Oddmall, a once-a-year freaky shopping center set up at the Clarion hotel on Route 8. You’ll find jewelry, art, clothing, and accessories that look like they were stolen from the set of Lord of the Rings or H.P. Lovecraft’s imagination, which makes sense because it was organized by Andy Hopp, the same dude behind last month’s Con on the Cobb gaming convention. The mall includes vendors like The Goblin Toybox, Psycho Reindeer, and It’s a Gamer’s Thing. Free and open to the public, Saturday, Nov. 7. 10 a.m. to 6. Check into Oddmall.info for more details.

Holy Effing *&#@! Cleveland Takes First Step to the Moon.

Remember that feeling you got when you were a kid watching that first space shuttle take off into the sky, slowly rolling into outer space? Well, NASA is about to inspire a new generation of pretend astronauts with its Constellation program, a plan to get us back to the Moon and on to Mars. And it all began last week, with a launch made possible by Cleveland engineers. A team at Glenn Research Center helped design the life-support module on the Ares I-X rocket that was test fired October 28. The behemoth vessel looked like something out of a 1940’s comic about the future and took off without a hitch. Watch it again at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WEdX_RIRw8

Could you effing imagine if Cleveland was the hub of humanity’s effort to travel to Mars? We’d be replacing steel with Star Trek. Don’t let Obama kill this program. Write in to your local representative and tell them to push for it in Congress!

Tell It Like It Is

Thank God for social networking. Stuff like this is really getting fun. A Cleveland-based revolutionary group called GLUE has a plan to brainstorm ways to save out our region. On Wednesday, Nov. 18, they will hold a session at Speakeasy, that joint below Bier Markt, called “I Will Stay If…” As in:

I Will Stay If…They Replace Steel Mills With Rocketships.

I Will Stay If…the Browns stop sucking.

I Will Stay If…Ohio Forgives Student Loan Debt (we can hope, can’t we?)

Suggested donation is $5. Look for special guest Councilman Matt Zone, who will probably stay if you just continue to reelect him.