By: Sarah Kotzman

Cleveland, I’ve found it. Something I know you will thank me for… THE ULTIMATE DRUNK FOOD. It’s genius. The bad boy of chow; the king of midnight mow-downs: The Potato Pancake Reuben at Rocky River Brewing Company.

That’s right, screw bread – they serve the sandwich sans such. Instead, it comes on a platter of greasy starch, and people love it. It’s a mountain of finely shaved corned beef and kraut slapped inside two giant potato pancakes. Look at that thing – it just grins, “EAT ME.” And trust me – no matter how sober, you’re gonna to have to break out the shoveling technique, so just own it. It’s like a 24-hour-diner made love with a drunken Irishman. There’s enough grease to rebound the oncoming hangover, and enough meat to force a food coma. Served with a heap of thick, perfectly battered fries, some say it may be potato overload – I say, no such thing. Bring on the heart attack, at least I’ll die full. 

It’s only fitting that the ultimate drunk food would be served at a brewery – experts of intoxication know what drunks need: a nonchalant scene straight out of Cheers, and vats of beer. Most of their microbrews taste as you’d expect, but the specialty brews are outstanding, and packed with uncanny flavor – kind of like when you smell a Yankee Candle and you think, “Wow, that really smells like Dune Grass and Berries, how’d they do that?” The Blueberry Ale would impress Wonka himself. And the Pilgrim Pumpkin is like sipping on a spiked spice rack. If their Christmas brew is just as good, I’m thinking Great Lakes might have some real competition this year. Gasp! Blasphemy, you say? I’m going back for a taste duel.

Now it’s not just beer and bar food – RRBC also serves up a full menu of just about everything. So if your dad wants a three-course meal, your girlfriend only likes ethnic, your coworkers want to get blasted, and all you want is a burger special – problem solved. They have everything from Thai food to Italian to Just Plain Bad For You. Clear your sinuses with the surprisingly spicy Asian Nachos, or try a classic plate with a twist: the tender Pretzel Crusted Chicken Breast.

So here’s the dish: Rocky River Brewing Company is a friendly, Average-Joe setting with some not-so-average brews and grub, both crafted with attention to detail and spice.